Flurry

The next several months seemed to fly by. Anna was at every appointment. I learned more about her with every visit. It just reinforced that this would be the baby's mom. She told me how they planned to parent. It was very similar to how I was with Ainsley. Everything seemed to be going good.

At night was when the emotional trouble came. It was quiet and I had time with my thoughts. I would cry myself to sleep most nights. I knew I couldn't keep the baby, but I loved her so much already. She was a part of me. I knew because of that love I had to do what was right. It didn't make it hurt any less.

It was around my 28th week. I had been having preterm labor for some time. I would go to the hospital and get it stopped. (I did this with Ainsley too.) I went in and they gave me the meds. It made me have the shakes as usual. the contractions stopped and I was sent home. Once I got home I laid down to rest and I had the worst heartburn of my life. I took some TUMS and they were no help. I called the hospital back and they said it could be an anxiety attack from the meds. I decided to walk around and see if that would help. An hour later, still no relief. I called them back. They said that if i felt like I needed to come in to do so. I did. I waited in the ER for over 2 hours crying in pain. When they took me back, they sent me right up to O.B. They gave me something for anxiety. Made me loopy as everything. A few minutes later the nurse came in and said that I needed to sign my discharge papers. I managed to tell her I was still hurting. Next thing I know there is a flurry of activity going on in the room. People were checking my heart, listing to my lungs and drawing blood work. Then they put me on something that watched my heart all the time. I was so scared! I kept asking how the baby was. They said she was OK. I was so relieved. I wouldn't know how to tell Anna and James something was wrong with their baby. Next thing I know they gave me some nitro under my tongue and some pain meds in the IV and I was knocked out.